Thursday, May 25, 2006

Why??????

To think I had some really steamy dreams about this dude. Fellas, let me let you in on a little secret. We love to see your sexy bodies, but we also get turned on by a well dressed man. A six-pack can only take you so far. Taye, I know you got money but pretty much everyone is familiar with Walmart. A mirror will only run you maybe 20 bucks. I even offer to install it for you right behind your door so you'll never have an excuse for looking like this again. That look is so not you (or anyone for that matter).

NB: I went easy on you coz I know you have potential!

Moulin Rouge in the Ghetto

Ok it seems Luda has a lot of work to do with Shawnna. Where to start? Maybe I will just concentrate on the most important issue here and leave the rest (like the weave) for later. Shawnna, Shawnna, Shawnna! As women, we love to be told we look sexy. You have to learn not to take it so literally though. Your boo will tell you that you look good coz he wants to stay on your good side and try to get some later on. But that is all just pillow talk! Not that you should never wear this shit. It's fine if you want to spice up your sex life with all the freaky shit but not in public coz honey you look a hot mess!!!!! Don't even wear it for Halloween! What a disgrace!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

African Queen

So, I am really proud of my African roots. Once in a while I even sport some of those kikois and kangas my mum insists on bringing me every time she comes to visit. But they ain't never looked like this right here! She looks like one of those gift wrapped presents you open last because it looks way too complicated. If my mother tried cooking ugali in that, something would catch on fire! Alicia, shame on you for being on my blog twice already! Keep singing though.

It will be alright....

I know I have been quiet for a while but I was busy getting my grind on. I do have something to pick everyone's spirits up. This is just to let y'all know that stars do have their off days too. So if you are looking all crazy right now, Michelle Williams (Destiny's Child) just gave us permission to look a hot mess. I thought they had personal assistants and make-up artists? Maybe they were all given the day off. I hope they don't get too much time off because she really does need the help. We still love you Michelle.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

When will she learn??

I will keep this one very short : sexy vs skanky? How do you tell? When, you are wearing something that Courtney Love would never be caught dead in..................that's skanky!!! Mariah, we all love silk sheets but leave them in the bed room. Makes it extra special at night! You don't need to be going cheap.

Rocking everywhere!!!!

You know, I think God was just being unfair when he gave her that ass. On most people, the ass is non-existent or just outrageously humongous!!! She gets a nice size ass and very nicely formed. Now, I am straight but some things you just can't help noticing!! You'd have to be blind. So this one is for all the guys who need some eye candy and for all the girls who need some motivation to get into shape for the summer. Don't be going out there in those bikinis that can't hold all that junk in the trunk! You got to tone it first. Ask J-Lo!